Yet it was only the other day that it suddenly struck me, the other reindeer, what a shower of bastards!

First they pick on poor Rudolph for his deformity, then they change their tune because he gains the patronage of a North Pole Celebrity! The other reindeer are shallow bigots who are only really fit to become reindeer burgers.

While I’m on a Christmas song rant, the kids who think Snowmen come to life and talk to them, what the hell are they on and where can I buy some?

“cache” is pronounced ‘kash’ and “cachet is pronounced ‘kashay’ they are not the same word and are not interchangeable.

“clique is pronounced ‘kleek’ not ‘click’. If you object to French words in the English language can I suggest you invent a time machine and set the time and location for 14th of October 1066, Senlac Hill, Hastings, East Sussex, England and take your chances.

I don’t ever want to answer questions about the Superstore. If you want to improve my “shopping experience” quit moving stuff around every three months, I am a creature of habit and keep the stock cubes by the herbs and spices and not on some shelf above a freezer.

If you honestly believe that “Enoch was right” please fuck off out the country we have a queue of more enlightened people waiting to get in.

How come web browsers still can’t block “pop unders”?

Why do cereal adverts now have women talking about their children in the same way they used to talk about their cats?

I have just formed ‘Ghosts Equity’ a union for all Spirits appearing on the Paranormal channel and related programming, we will be seeking repeat fees.

Ah I fell better now