Next year I hope to post more frequently than I have done in the past 12 months. I am fairly optimistic about this as I intend to do a lot more in 2006 than I have done recently and have more to report.

I have decided that 2006 will be my “No more excuses, just do it” year.

Thank you to all who have left comments on over the past 12 months, without you the Darkest Before Dawn would have very little point. Some blogs on my blog list have gone off line recently but if you are still about please drop me a comment or an e-mail and let me know how you are getting on.

Whatever you are celebrating at this time of year, have a good one.

Kev

The good news is that I have been able to keep my eating under control. Usually when I am stressed I comfort eat but I have been able to maintain my weight loss programme which had stalled a few weeks ago. I currently weigh 15st 1lb or 211lb or 95.7 kg.

The other week I was working on an update of myMooMus and had sent a copy to some people to beta test, after a few false starts I have a version which is stable but still needs a few tweaks. I hope to be able to work on it some more next week and get the new instructions written.

The other day I was contacted by an old school friend through Friends Reunited, first time in a while since someone has contacted me through it. Anyway you know who you are and if you have stopped by the blog then , hello!

Kev

Kev

On a lighter note check out Creatures in my head

Kev

In the last week or so, however I seem have changed my pattern, I am getting to sleep around midnight but waking around 5 or this morning 4.

In general I am feeling quite confused about various things at the moment and I don’t think this is helping me sleep.

Kev

To all my worries and paranoia’s I think I am adding my ability to write between the lines but inability to read between them. Of course it is probably not just me, it is kind of self indulgent to think so, is that why there is so much loneliness in our society? Is it that we can all send out the signals but no one knows how to read them?

The human world is based on interpretation, the problem is we have very little way of knowing if our interpretation is correct or if there is even such a thing as a correct interpretation, everything is relative anyway isn’t it? Can a wiser person please tell me if Physics and Philosophy mix and match?

Take the lines from the James song Sit Down

If I hadn’t seen such riches
I could live with being poor

I have always used them as a condemnation of the evils of Capitalism,which shows people the wonderful shiny things though mass advertising but also keeps large numbers of people in a position where they can never afford the wonderful shiny things. Before you all spam me for being a commie pinko, all political systems are evil in some way or another mainly because they are ultimately only there for their own continuation and not actually to advance the human race. Okay back to James and Sit Down, of course what I missed in the above interpretation are the lines that proceed those.

It’s hard to carry on
When you feel all alone
Now I’ve swung back down again
It’s worse than it was before

Of course I understood these lines but for some reason I had always interpreted them then interpreted the next two lines separately.

In the end we always spin other people’s words and actions to suit our own needs.

O wad some Power the gift tae gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An foolish notion:
What airs in dress an gait wad lea’e us,
An ev’n devotion!

Kev

I am just so tired and now I am almost scared to go to bed incase I fall asleep for an hour then wake up and I am unable to shut off again and get back to sleep like the last few night, which is why I am feeling down . Nothing unusual in this I don’t honestly think I ever learned to sleep, just ask my Mum about when I was a baby!

Hopefully I will be back on form in a day or so and not bumming everyone, including my self, out.

Would like to get up to the Highlands for a couple of days at the weekend but I will have to wait until Wednesday to see what the weather is going to do.

Kev

Read these …

Whose side are we on anyway?
I thought that this was horrendous.

…then remember we are supposed to look up to and respect politicians and judges and they are supposed to be there to protect us!

It’s Just a Ride

The world is like a ride at an amusement park.
It goes up and down and round and round.
It has thrills and chills and it’s very brightly coloured and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride?
And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, “hey – don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride…”
And we… kill those people. Ha ha “Shut him up.” “We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up.
Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real.”
It’s just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok.
Jesus murdered; Martin Luther King murdered; Malcolm X murdered; Gandhi murdered; John Lennon murdered; Reagan…. wounded.

But it doesn’t matter because: It’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want.
It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money.
A choice, right now, between fear and love.
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off.
The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride.

Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defences each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

Bill Hicks

Later,
Kev

The 8th for me is always dodgy as it is also a personal anniversary, now if I was like most blokes I would forget anniversaries but no I remember, how else could I torture myself

The Diet Club at work had its first weigh-in on Friday and my final weight loss over the year was 2 stone. So this is the first week on the new campaign so I have been very careful about what I am eating and I did a 10 kilometre walk today. When I am feeling a bit down I want to eat so today has not been easy.

Kev