Venting

Okay fair warning I have been in a bad mood all day and post below contains swear words!

You have been warned.

At the place I work we have been having some fire alarm trouble, the office I work in is based in a school building but we are not part of the school. In a school there is always the possibility of bored kids setting off the alarm, we had this a couple of years back. Just now however it seems there is a fault in the system and it is going off basically when it feels like it. In the last 3 weeks we have had to trail out of the building at least 6 times, I’ve lost count. So far this week we have had two 30 minute outing to the car park.
Someone seriously needs to run some diagnostic tests it is dangerous if there is a real fire and I am sure the two fire crews that turn up are well pissed off by now.

Okay that wasn’t too bad but I got home shortly after 30 minutes standing around in the car park to the missed call indicator on my phone. On picking up the phone the dial tone told me that there was a message on the answering service.

I had checked the list of numbers that had called on the phone so I knew the message wasn’t from my parents and there was a number showing up as Private so I sort of deduced that the message would be for the bus company. I get a few of those and have blogged about it before. The other option was that it was for a local lawyers or the horse riding stables that I have received a few calls for.

Of course it was for the bus company, now if it message had been,

‘Hi I am looking for when the number 3 bus arrives at ….’

or

‘I’ve left my pet rhino on the bus, has anyone found it?’

I wouldn’t be typing any of this post.

The message was, in very snooty woman’s voice

“I am calling for bus information!”

“Why am I getting an answer phone?”

“Can an answer phone give me timetable information?”

“I think NOT!”

My first instinct was to hit the button that calls back the number, although as it was marked as private I doubt if that would work. So I decided to blog her ass! Okay I doubt you will ever read this but here is my rant to you Snooty voice!

“I am calling for bus information!”

YOU have dialed the WRONG NUMBER!!!

“Why am I getting an answer phone?”

You have dialed the wrong fucking number. I don’t work from home and I refuse to pay someone to sit in my flat all day answering calls from arrogant people who don’t realize they can’t dial a fucking phone correctly.

“Can an answer phone give me timetable information?”

Well neither can I. It is my phone number, have you tried the correct number or simply doing what a less arrogant person would do and see it as your mistake, check the number and dial carefully.

Oh and if I am going to give out bus information I am going to charge £50 per bus so have your credit card number ready!

“I think NOT!”

I think not as well. I dabble in technology a little bit and I knew this. That is why if I was running a bus information hotline I wouldn’t use an answer phone!

I would use an ‘arrogant fucker’ detector that would send an annoying noise down your phone or even better I would get it to store all the arrogant peoples numbers and get them to call each other constantly, digital technology is a wonderful thing if used right!

Now where is that SP@M email from earlier that seemed to say that I had won a Nuclear Power Plant in a Lottery. I think I do have a use for some enriched uranium after all

Ah catharsis!