In the last few years I have gone to see a few films in the Slasher Horror genre and I must admit that I am not exactly a fan I honestly prefer a good comedy to seeing someone’s kneecaps fly across the room. However I have noticed a few things that may be useful as a diagnostic aid to tell if a town has Slasher Horror potential.
So here is the Darkest Before Dawn Slasher Horror Quiz
- Economy
- Was a Highway constructed 10 or more years ago that killed the passing/tourist trade?
- Has the only factory, usually a meat packing plant, closed down?
- Law & Order
- Is the local Sheriff married to his cousin or sister or both?
- Is the Sheriff pissed off about what happened to him in Korea or Nam? Even if he didn’t actually fight in the wars, remember the later episodes of M.A.S.H. caused a lot of trauma!
- Does the Sheriff rant about Bikers and Long Haired Hippies even though no one has seen such a person in 20 years?
- Cars
- Do any of the local families have dozens of cars laying around their property just rusting? Some of these cars may date back to the 1940′s
- Does the family have a tow truck but not run a car repair/rescue/scrapping business?
- Gas Station
- Do the gas pumps belong to a company that ceased to exist in the 1920′s?
- Does the garage attendant sit out front and when asked a question only answer ‘Yep’ or ‘in back’
- Pickling Jars
- Is there someone in town who constantly buys pickling jars even though there is no fruit or vegetables in season?
- Shopping
- Is the only open shop also in the Gas Station?
- Does it have very few useful items like food but lots of pickling jars for sale?
- Fashion
- Do all the women of the town wear clothes that were only in fashion for five minutes in 1953?
- Do all the men wear dungarees, with the exception of the Sheriff?
- Children
- In the past was a group of children responsible for the death of a caretaker or child who was a bit different?
- Outsiders
- Unlike the townsfolk do people passing through look like the come straight from the pages of Vogue?
- Clowns
- Is there someone in town who dresses as a clown even through there is no circus or fair on and they are not a children’s entertainer?
Score one point for each question answered Yes
1 to 5 : The chances are you will be safe but stick to the soulless highway just in case.
6 to 10 : Expect to loose 75% of your travelling companions and remember the cute lovey dovey couple making plans for the future bite the big one first.
10 to 17 : Ain’t no one getting out of this one alive, you may think you are but the Sheriff will have a road block just out of town and you will think he is there to help you. The last words you will hear are “Squeal piggy squeal!”
